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Life in the eyes of a 17 years old

Life is funny and filled with different people and different obstacles. Obstacles that are sometimes quite difficult to overcome. And what I’ve learnt is that God gives his strongest battles to his strongest soldiers and it’s true cause I can testify to it. Even so I’m only 17 and I have overcome some mighty battles.

Life is oddly very hurtful and amazing at the same time. Weird to say but it’s the truth, using God in every obstacle it then becomes easier and less hurtful to overcome. Then that comfort that I am looking for in him and no one else. Even if it’s been found in a human being most times nothing is permanent, it’s back to being hurtful and pain, agony! I am only temporary to almost everyone I know. That’s hurtful but it’s given me hope of the new coming days. Hope of a better life, with less pain.

Pain can’t be completely gone. This world is 75% evil so it would always come. Therefore pain will always exist. Starts from friends, family, those whose purpose is to break. Comes with their gestures, words, actions, what has been started and never continued with. Pain is hurtful, very hurtful. And every individual deals with it differently.

If i want to cry, I’ll cry.

If in sad moments I want to smile, I’ll smile and no one will tell me differently.

If I want to cut I’ll cut and no one tell me differently, because you’re not there to take my pain away.

If I want to pray and scream out i will, Because I know God will hear.

If I want to be rebellious allow me, because you were never there for me.

If I want to change, boost me and allow me too .

If I want to die, help me!

But that’s not the end. Life is too precious.

Too precious to end it because of pain.

It’s disturbing how deceiving a smile maybe. If a smile is shown, You’re happy. 

Misconception!!

A smile is a mask. A beautiful mask used to shield, and  to lock away pain. A mask no one can explain how to put it on with the pain. It’s easy to endure pain. So someone once said to me. I asked “have you ever felt pain? Pain that kills you with only one strike ” Have you ever felt it?

She responded yes

I asked her to explain further

She went on then saying

“Pain feels like bullets being shot over and over into your heart, Pain weighs you down. Its kills you without realizing”

And the pain I’m talking about deals with depression. Pain and life goes hand in hand as far as i could see.

Pain defines life

Life defines pain

Life for some people is a painless battle but for some people life is a very painful battle

Even so I’m 17 and life has been like climbing mount Everest.

Life in the eyes of a 17 years old

I declare ITS PAINFUL!!!!!!!

But I’ve learnt to live with it. To live with the pain and to turn to God. God is amazing! He is alive! And We’d better start believing that. Because when he starts he is going to finish. The blessings, the pain, the sorrow all will be gone. When he is ready to take you out of the situation. He will and when he does it would be an unexplained experience. But to get there we have obstacles to face. Up and down. Rocky roads and so much more. To overcome these obstacles. You need to be consistent. But it’s surprising how people make comments like;

“You’ll be out of there just keep your eye on the goal”    

or

“I bet there’s someone out there going through worse than you” 

Yes, It is true! But I’d ask have you ever stepped in my shoes? Do you know what it feels like to be going through what I’m going through? Are you aware of how much I endure? 

If not then such a statement shouldn’t be, because only when you’re in the present situation you can explain what it feels like. Until then disregard this statement. 

In the end, tell me to endure, show me how to endure.

I’ve learnt to endure.

Alone!

Because I know I have too, I know I have to endure it and do not avoid it or give up,  because I cannot, I just cannot give up.

For a soldier of God should never give up, just not so easily and especially not to something like pain.

-Keisia Bernard

 

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How pain comes about.

Pain comes in different forms and I’d explain the different ways I have felt pain. Pain can b from within or it can be invoked onto you by someone else, or an action. Well in this case I’m not talking about physical pain. To be quite honest I don’t think physical pain comes close to this type of pain omitted from within.

Number one life is the most painful pain I’ve met, in fact the existence of life per say but I might take that statement away. And life is most painful because of you. Life is a battle between you vs you. Well I can say, because so I’ve learnt.

I’ve also learnt that the pain felt by life 60% of time is made by one individual, yourself. It is not a fight with the world but you. When I say you, I mean thoughts. Thoughts are the worst, And being an overthinker is 100 % worst. When I take a moment to think of how disturbing my thoughts may be or how it shapes my actions and the way I feel, even my emotions and 95.5% of the times the thoughts that I have are not called for.

Therefore I either cry over nothing which then leads to depression

Or

I may get angry for nothing which may allow me to push people away or get in trouble

True! I can say I’m not psychologist to know how the brain works, but I can say it really happens from experiences and even observing other people.

 

Number two those you love the most, can be the second most painful pain ever. Because love is a painful word. And if I say I love you I mean it to the point where the meaning then becomes you’re the best thing that have ever happened to me. Loving someone means that you’re ready to do anything for them. As for me the person I most likely love the most I can’t do everything I want for her, and Oh! I wish I could. I mean I’m 17. But, But!! Right now I have a goal, A goal inspired by someone I love dearly and love is not used so loosely.

Love can define lives,

Love can change the life style of people

Love can change and manipulate people

Love can inspired

Love can break as much as it makes

Hence the reason why I’m so careful with the word “love”

Me loving someone, yes, means that I’ll do anything but at the same time it means I’m in for hurt

Not souly cause I’ll loose you but because the actions can affect me

 

Number three the environment of school. School is like living in a mini world, And especially college, where different people are, as far as religion, attitudes, cultures, different interest hobbies and so much more. Being different is a problem in this society, But I’ve to realise ‘different’ is what makes me who I am. Different should be embrace and everyone should be different and not try to be like this person or what to be this person. Be yourself, and get comfortable with it. With being different, of course, there would be bullies and then you become an outcast. But only your mindset would save you in such situation. Positive mind set is all what is needed, To embrace the different and get rid of the bullies. It’s easy I can say because there are so many different people at college but the word BE CAREFUL should always be in the thoughts.

 

Number four the devil in itself, depression. It’s more painful than school or love ones but also comes around because of them. Depression is a consumer. Top chat level consumer. It would devour and kill, if you’re not careful about it. Experiencing it, it was painful

So much pain that I never had the energy to do anything

So much that I’m always smiling, And that’s a gift, believe me. To smile when being depressed or sad, only a few can pull it off.

It then sucks you into this back hole, making you want to give up.

 

Only a few reason why pain then comes about or even exist. But wait I forgot Pain mainly exist because the devil himself is alive.

Pain comes in different forms and I’d explain the different ways I have felt pain. Pain can b from within or it can be invoked onto you by someone else, or an action. Well in this case I’m not talking about physical pain. To be quite honest I don’t think physical pain comes close to this type of pain omitted from within.

Number one life is the most painful pain I’ve met, in fact the existence of life per say but I might take that statement away. And life is most painful because of you. Life is a battle between you vs you. Well I can say, because so I’ve learnt.

I’ve also learnt that the pain felt by life 60% of time is made by one individual, yourself. It is not a fight with the world but you. When I say you, I mean thoughts. Thoughts are the worst, And being an overthinker is 100 % worst. When I take a moment to think of how disturbing my thoughts may be or how it shapes my actions and the way I feel, even my emotions and 95.5% of the times the thoughts that I have are not called for.

Therefore I either cry over nothing which then leads to depression

Or

I may get angry for nothing which may allow me to push people away or get in trouble

True! I can say I’m not psychologist to know how the brain works, but I can say it really happens from experiences and even observing other people.

 

Number two those you love the most, can be the second most painful pain ever. Because love is a painful word. And if I say I love you I mean it to the point where the meaning then becomes you’re the best thing that have ever happened to me. Loving someone means that you’re ready to do anything for them. As for me the person I most likely love the most I can’t do everything I want for her, and Oh! I wish I could. I mean I’m 17. But, But!! Right now I have a goal, A goal inspired by someone I love dearly and love is not used so loosely.

Love can define lives,

Love can change the life style of people

Love can change and manipulate people

Love can inspired

Love can break as much as it makes

Hence the reason why I’m so careful with the word “love”

Me loving someone, yes, means that I’ll do anything but at the same time it means I’m in for hurt

Not souly cause I’ll loose you but because the actions can affect me

 

Number three the environment of school. School is like living in a mini world, And especially college, where different people are, as far as religion, attitudes, cultures, different interest hobbies and so much more. Being different is a problem in this society, But I’ve to realise ‘different’ is what makes me who I am. Different should be embrace and everyone should be different and not try to be like this person or what to be this person. Be yourself, and get comfortable with it. With being different, of course, there would be bullies and then you become an outcast. But only your mindset would save you in such situation. Positive mind set is all what is needed, To embrace the different and get rid of the bullies. It’s easy I can say because there are so many different people at college but the word BE CAREFUL should always be in the thoughts.

 

Number four the devil in itself, depression. It’s more painful than school or love ones but also comes around because of them. Depression is a consumer. Top chat level consumer. It would devour and kill, if you’re not careful about it. Experiencing it, it was painful

So much pain that I never had the energy to do anything

So much that I’m always smiling, And that’s a gift, believe me. To smile when being depressed or sad, only a few can pull it off.

It then sucks you into this back hole, making you want to give up.

 

Only a few reason why pain then comes about or even exist. But wait I forgot Pain mainly exist because the devil himself is alive.

Pain!

Pain can’t be completely gone. This world is 75% evil so it would always find its way to us. Therefore pain will always exist. It starts from friends and family, those whose purpose is to break. Comes with their gestures, their words,their actions, what has been started and never continued with. Pain is hurtful, very hurtful. And every individual deals with it differently.

Pain will rip and leave broken.

Pain will scar and build

Pain will shot and stab.

But it only makes us stronger if we escape. Pain is yes hurtful, But is pain forever, or is it more powerful?